


Ickbbar Critic Ted, former main character and always savvy.

by KingFranPetty



Series: Buddy The Friend to Everybody [8]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Candy, Death Threats, Dessert & Sweets, Dialogue, Dialogue Heavy, Don't Try This At Home, Fourth Wall, Genre Savvy, Insults, M/M, Meta, Monologue, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Out of Character, Panic Attacks, Plushies, Self-Harm, Strategy & Tactics, Stuffed Toys, Swearing, Sweet, Talking, Teddy Bears, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Threats, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22387540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: Ick ruins things for me due to being too genre savvy.
Relationships: Gyro Gearloose/Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Series: Buddy The Friend to Everybody [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616089
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Ickbbar Critic Ted, former main character and always savvy.

Ickbbar Critic Ted turned on the power drill. "I know your listening King Petty, you worthless shit of an Author" Icky chuckled as he inched the power tool to his skull. Wait... What?! No!! The drill shut off as the cord was unplugged. Buddy Pal Friendly looked down to the card he step on, shrugging happily. Icky glared at the ceiling and seethed, "Nice to see you are real, you fucking fraud." Buddy took a worried look as he scratched his head. Ick jeered with a little bit of sarcastic joy, "I hope you like what you've done, my oh so loving God." The Green and black, panda, plushie aimed the drill bit between his eyes and... Nope!

Friendly immediately pulled his friend away from the weapon, panicked, "Icky, what are you saying?! What are you doing?!!" Ted just stared at him like it was the most obvious thing in the whole of existence. He apathically stated, "I'm trying to make King Fran Petty stop controlling my actions." The concept of death was alien to Buddy, all he knew is putting that sharp thing into one's head would have made them goes to sleep forever. He didn't want to lose his friend. The yellow, candy, dog picked up his special best friend to eye level. "Icky Bar, that doesn't make any sense." Pal warppled while trying to keep a hopeful tone, "There's no one controlling your body but you."

Icky Bar narrowed his eyes and fumed hatefully, "You just don't get it do you? You never fucking get it. She always resets your brain so you can stay this innocent, happy, Fucking moron forever!" It hurt the sweetheart's heart to hear his best friend say those things. The sweetie frowned and blubbered, "Why would you say those things, Icky Bar?" The plushie grabbed the the puppy dog by the collar of his shirt and shaked him. The stuffed toy smoldered, "Don't call me, "Icky!" You God damn idoit!" The hound teared at this, rubbing away the tears and walking to find Gyro. His friend was acting so mean, there was clearly something wrong. 

Yeah, the thing wrong is Ickbbar. 

Ickbbar looked up and scoffed, "I heard that, you puppeteer." Good. I'm glad, maybe use some of that "self awareness" to not treat the only person who likes you in this world not like trash Sgt. Sarcastic. The teddy bear started to struggle and scream at the totally imaginary being. Buddy looked at him with increasing worry. Gyro Gearloose turned away from the coffee machine, annoyed with tantrum being thrown. The chicken huffed, "Why is the sock monkey screaming?!" The canine held up the toy to the bird. He told, "Ick is yelling about The Author person again and he's getting mean. Can you fix it?"

In the background, Teddy growled, "She's real!! We are all fictional! Can't you believe me for FUCKING once!?! Don't you see she's trying to make you make me forget about her so she can keep us all stupid?!"

Gyro sighed, "How am I supposed to fix this? I'm not a therapist." Friendly thought about this as Ted continued to ramble on about tin foil hat conspiracy theories. Buddy Pal Friendly got an idea and pointed out, "Because you are smart and I think you can." The rants of a mysterious person behind everything grew quiet. Coldly Ickbbar Critic Ted boiled, until the lid exploded off. There was no more King Francis Petty, just red. Just someone that Buddy must have thought was better than himself. Ick steamed coldly, "... I think I'm going to have fried chicken today." The panda wiggled out of the grip around him and grabbed a chair. 

It was clearly too heavy for him, being a lobby chair over twice his size. Still Ickbbar tried to drag and swing the chair with intent to murder. Which only resulted in Ick crushing himself trying to pick up the chair. Gearloose just laughed at this attempt. "Oh, go on Edgy. Tell me more about how you are going to completely destroy me." The thin tall young adult snarked. Under the chair, the play thing grumbled, "Shut the fuck up, Gyro. We both know the only action you get is with your own clones." The chicken glared at the smashed toy. The toy coughed a few times, "And that you think of me or Buddy when you do."

Buddy cocked his head in confusion. What could that possibly mean? It was like there was words missing. What kind of "action" could he mean? The scientist geasured the friendly man to leave the room while they talked. The buff man did so, feeling like the two were keeping information from him. Gyro waited for Buddy to leave then got closer to Ick. He whispered, "Listen up cum sock, I'm getting really sick of your shit." There was laughter. Then a voice joked from under the chair, "Like everyone with two brain cells is sick to death of you? Come on, admit it. All those little doubts were right, You ARE a terrible person and basically nobody likes you."

The laughter continued. "I'm kinda surprised that you haven't turned to the dark side, seeing how the only thing you are good at making things that ruin everything just like you do." 

"Great job, Critic. I bet that was easy for you, after all... Wouldn't you know?" The taller man spat back. A tiny, black, nubby, arm poked out. The owner of the arm offered, "Mutually assured destruction, salted Earth. Nobody gets Buddy without the other one ruining their chances. Deal?" A hand met. The bird added, "I have a few little add-ons."

The End.


End file.
